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A life changing event

2012-02-04T02:21:00.000-08:00

that life changing weekend that we had in mind for a year now never came.

Today is a day that i will never forget.

Our checkbooks never came in use, flat never bought, hearts were broken, and hopes were lost.

Today is a day that i will remember.

I remembered the disappointment on your face and the sadnesss in your eyes.

Dearest boyfriend,

I am writing to tell you that through the four hours of wait we were put through today and the pain you are feeling now, I realized something invaluable. As we watched our choice units being striked off the list and as we desperately searched the floor plan for alternatives, i realized something invaluable.

I realized that you are the person that i want to spend every waking moment with. I realized that your disappointment and loss is mine. I realized that I have never wanted a unit there. I realized that all I have ever wanted today was standing right beside me all along. I realized that I am willing to look past my budget constraints and my pride if that brings me to you. I realized that I want a life with you more than anything.

It was a very disappointing day for me not because i lost my shot at a unit there. Neither was it because we got a lousy queue number and was defeated by fate. It was the dejected expression you wore, the thought of waiting another year before we could finally call a place our own.

That life changing event we had in mind never took place today. but my life has already changed when we first met. I remember how you were not interested in me at all back then. I remember how anxiously i was waiting for you to ask me out. I remember the flowers you gave. I remember them all.

I have you and that's all i want for now.

i love you and will always do.

dampening dempsey's brunch

2011-12-10T21:53:00.000-08:00

Life's rolling well.

we had brunch at e food and wine at depmsey on a saturday morning.

The place turned out to be more serene than expected. Sadly, that is the only thumbs up i could offer for this restuarant...

we opted for indoors given how weather hasnt been at its best. The owner of the restuarant also owns a furniture shop, so i expected nothing less than great from the furniture and furnishings but it was alittle of a let down. not a fan of wooden tables and chairs. Dont they belong to outdoor dining?

So was food.

The eggs platter looks excatly what anyone who knows how to use a frying pan is capable of. I wished that they had stolen some greenery from the outdoors. The only time the sister who owned the dish ever stopped complaining was when she was busy sipping tea to dilute the vinegar that had drowned the eggs.

The fish and chip was the least darkest dish. If you screw up fish and chip, you should practically pack your bags for the cooking academy again. Fries are a teeny bit better than macdonalds.

Here's 'Chef's mum's curry chicken' for the mum. Hmm. This local delight is no delight at all. The chicken wasnt tender and why is there a boiled egg swimming in the curry? Like the paintings that didnt score well with the woody, the egg should probably find its home somewhere.

Here's my cajun casaer chicken salad. hmm. not flavourful and not appealing.

overall, you should visit this restaurant if peace rates higher than food quality with you. to be fair, maybe it would feel better if i had went in the night but the food doesnt warrant a second visit.

Still a fantastic weekend for me.

Good bye.

2011-12-01T23:53:00.000-08:00

i received a call at work today from my aunt. She told me that mum's at hospital. I got to say my heart stopped and i found myself in a struggle with my tear duct. I started praying fervently. Dropped work and left for the hospital

Turns out mum's good. She had flashes in the morning and it wasnt retina wear that could eventually lead to a loss of vision. It was a major scare. Hospital's not excatly where i wanna spend my day off but im glad it ended well.

It was an emotional day for me. Its times like this that made you stop and wonder what really matters.

I dont know what i can take away from today.

Its exhausting.

Good luck.

2011-11-19T07:15:00.000-08:00

i cannot get this song off my head.

The cab- angel with a shotgun

fun shoot

2011-10-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

2011-09-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

i see and hear alot of things i dont want to at work.

lord, please make me deaf to gossips and blind to scandals

i just want to make money and go home.

f. me.

Goodnight.

simple day with an extraordinary date.

2011-09-18T00:06:00.000-07:00

always wanted a tattoo. consider my wish half done.

dinner at wild honey somerset hasnt lived up to expectations.

we visited H&M on sat. That makes it my 4th H&M in less than 2 years. i can understand the hullabaloo . causual europe wear at affordable prices. nt a fan though.

but anyway, it was awesome. saturdays always are because of who i spend it with. This man is crazily smart, well mannered and geeky which i find incredibily adorable.

Hello Jk, reading this? even though i just said it few hours ago, i like to say it again.

i love you.

bye.

coffee moment

2011-09-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if i would ever feel this inspired again. but i wanna pen it every single time it hits me and gets me going.

Today began all gloomy and dark because work has the inherent ability to consume every shot at happiness and get us started on the regrets of what could we have possibly achieved.

So there was the routine crap at work and i thought its gonna end like every day, so wrapped up with making money a god and feeling all disgusted at how i have become.

I wanted a drink and needed one to keep whatever good that's left of me inside and not involved in my battle against work. So i dropped by this cafe near my work place. Its called Jewel Coffee. I didnt think so much of the quality or label. It didnt matter in the grand scheme of me escaping work cancer.

i ordered coffee and salad. There was just me and the boss. we started having small talk and that translated to a most meaningful life lesson.

He told me it was his first attempt at business and he wanted it all good. He had the best coffee grinder, espresso machine and the best people to manage his business. He said that there was always good coffee, and then bad sandwiches or good bread but bad coffee. Why couldnt one have the best of both worlds? He was a coffee lunatic who has impressed me with his eye for perfection and passion for the industry. He could go on and on about how his coffee cups are easy on the hands and coffee are filtered to its best with the chemex filters. Then i offered my thoughts on how he could increase awareness and improve the bottomline. I was being such as asshole. He wasnt concerned about profits. He wanted to serve good coffee and it ends there.

for me, it was his personality and not the coffee that came through. i see passion brewing at its finest and magic working its way through the aroma that filled the air. It wasnt about the paycheck at the end of the day, was it? It was all about enjoying what you are doing. I have had opportunities to be like him but was frozen with fear of failing.

I shouldnt need to feel this way. nobody has to. I dont wanna be busy being afraid. not anymore

we can make a jewel outta anything we want to.

why not now

Hanoi.

2011-08-20T00:25:00.000-07:00

Lots of fond memories at hanoi. cruise along halong bay was the highlight of the trip. best trip of the year. Here goes the pictures in an chaotic order.

painting for usd 15.

st joseph cathedral.

kayaking at halong bay

our calypso cruise dining area

cooking class on board to make vietnamese springroll. Thats our lovely tour guide.

amazing cave. really amazing

view from amazing cave

our 4 star cruise. Love!

perfume pagoda

3 hours boat ride we were put through to get to perfume pagoda.

famous hoan kiem lake

water puppet show

along the old quarters

who can ever get enough of vietnamese coffee.

dont ask me who they are.

1st meal in hanoi.extremely tasty.

Goodnight people.

day spent with the lovessss of my life.

2011-07-30T07:26:00.000-07:00

Shopping with jk then, ndp with mum and yh. ndp is getting better. Love the graphics that accompanied the storylines on screen and fireworks, they never fail to impress.

super dressed for cny.

perfect day.

goodnight

Distinguished person in my life.

2011-07-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

i attended my graduation ceremony last year thinking how did that first guy who came on stage aced the subjects i put myself through hell? This year, i got my answer from the top student of aerospace engineering 2011.

The man who led his cohort on stage and swept the lee kuan yew award, koh boon hwee award, and dso cash award. See that man in the pic- thats jk.

i cannot describe how proud i feel when he took the stage and got a standing ovation from his friends who yelled louder than the durian uncle near my flat. the idea of just knowing the smartest guy in person is awesome but i had it more. he talks to me every night and listens to me complain endlessly about work, tucks me in bed when i am tired and cares for me when i am sick.

And today when i didnt bring flowers or teddy bear, he told me I am his greatest present and you would you think he's a sweet talker. He isnt and that means so much more.

We took a long stroll along the stadium where we first dated 3 years ago. It hasnt been easy dating me. It hasnt been easy 3 years. I am seldom there but you are always here. I thank you for that. I thank you for being awesome you.

i dont know what the future holds but right now i want you to be part of it.

Goodnight.

day i met a warrior.

2011-07-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

impactful day.

joy to hear and lesson learnt. such opportunities rarely came by. i dont know what lies ahead but god is good and i see it today. you have been an inspiration.you have swayed my thoughts and raked up emotions. i look up to you and lets hope for the best.

Beijing 2011

2011-07-18T09:27:00.000-07:00

Love!!!

Come on

2011-06-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

its alot alot alot harder than i have imagined it to be. but i am not compromising or complaining.

make it work. make it work.

Goodnight.

super dan in singapore

2011-06-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

it was my first weekend back in sg and i already missed how last sunday was spent.

extremely busy weekend. there was dinner, shopping and the li-ning open. You know how i always hear lin dan is badminton's answer to roger federer.so i bought the tickets for the finals (i dont even like watching badminton!!!) because i had to see for myself how good is this great one. Apparently, he didnt turn up, quoting illness as an excuse. And i got my answer anyway. He's a far cry from roger. Maybe this is why you get US15000 when you win a superseries but over a million for a grand slam and you hear so many jiayous during a badminton match. They honestly need to lift their games and attitudes....

on another note, i have been reading hard truths by lee kuan yew for an hour now. i say give your next japanese dinner a miss and get this book.

apart from the fact that i dont like how lky looks on the cover, this book is a star buy. It makes you think more about singapore as a disneyland with death penalty.

Go get it.

I have been good lately and cannot wait for September to be here.

Goodnight.

i miss bj

2011-06-13T07:31:00.001-07:00

extremely good week.. lots of fond memories.

I miss bj already. miss it so much that i cant stop smiling today.

miss it. miss it. miss it.

The paper and the run.

2011-06-03T21:43:00.001-07:00

14 days and it all boils down to this.

Tomorrow is huge. I am gonna be takng my first CFA paper which ive foolishly taken 2 weeks of annual leave to study and will surely fail. Then, I am gona take on the role of an escapist and fly to beijing for a much needed vacation and thats gonna come at the expense of an epic show down between nadal and federer at roland garros finals.

I am probably on the plane when they play. Crap.

caught roger playing yesterday night. He still exhibits great style but not sure its sufficient to take down nadal. Still, love.

Gonna be away for a good time. So take care of yourself. Dont die, not until i am back.

See you soon.

happy week.

2011-05-31T10:30:00.000-07:00

happy. no fancy words. happy, just happy.

This week was good.

flied a kite at midnight, caught up with roland garros on TV. Saw federer take down monfils and watched alot of tv.

Very good week. Had the break i needed from work. totally could see how work has changed me. So yea, am bailing out soon.

Goodnight.

best best moment of 2011

2011-05-28T22:50:00.000-07:00

was at the carnaval carnaval at Marina Barrage last night. Best moment of 2011 thus far.

there was really good brazilian music and percussion drumming. highlight of the night for me was dancing to the song 'rise up', popular clubbing track covered by bushmen who totally aced the song. probably did better than the original singer, yves larock.

You got to check this out.

http://youtu.be/zoMYU_nOGNg

it was a perfect night. had a really lousy week. so t was a really nice way to turn the week around.

Life's gonna be good if not great from now on.

i need to thank you. Because i cannot imagine this week without you. You are awesome awesome.

bye.

Come on!

2011-05-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

i am finally off the meds and feeling really fired up for life now.

Past few days have been a nightmare. But its gonna be great from now on. I am not feeling ill and its good.

And you are probably partying at zouk as i write this now. Thank you for being so awesome for the past few days. i really miss the nights we had at the parks downing alcohol and there was you. There is always you.

love.

goodnight.

good stuff.

2011-05-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

i must blog about happy stuff!

a friend called to say that she's having a baby boy. haha. really happy for her and she said i was the first who came to mind. That totally made my day..

oh then there are also friendss who smsed/called to arrange for dinners. I have so much lined up after my exams and i honestly cant wait to meet you all. I know i have been missing out on alot.

Oh then there was the kind hearted doctor today who gave me 2 days mc. I was really down with lots of crap today physically. But im gonna be good good good. I am gonna take my medication, stop drinking for today and rest rest rest.

So i am not dying today. I am gonna be good.

This has been such a mundane entry. ok. maybe let me share with you my favorite band now- icarus account. I cannot stop listening to them. I probably heard 'closer to you' more than i have heard any song. really good acoustic stuff.

Goodnight.

please try.

2011-05-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

i like to think that i spent my day at coffeebean chasing dreams. Or you could say, i spent 6 hours mugging.

Its killing me. The CFA exam is. Its like horrors of the past are back to stay. Chi Square, F-Distribution, confidence interval... They are the bane of my life back in uni days and they are here to haunt. Its hell lot of regrets. Its like paying to catch a horror movie or a lousy one 20 times. It sucks. you get the story..

I wanna freaking kill myself. I didnt sign up for the pain. was with a friend and watching her study away makes me wanna kill myself more. i feel terribly stupid, like hopelessly stupid.

I dont know why god forget to give me brains when he made me. Come on CP. Please be alittle smarter!

If you cannot run, walk. If you cannot walk, crawl. If you cannot crawl, dont stop trying.

Come on Come on. CP Bring on the spirit! Keep fighting please.

damn.

i just gave up and went to watch vampire diaries finale...damn CP.

CHARTERED FINANCIAL ANALYST. ! CP..PLEASE WAKE UP!

2011-05-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

i had what i wish for. That kept me excited for minutes but when the excitement wears off and reality sets in, you know its not gonna get any easier.

Goodnight.

I wish I am an idiot so i can fit in.

2011-05-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

i had a terrible day. some car accident pretty sum that up. i realized that i have cried more this year than in the last 23. Its crazy and i wish i had done more to begin the year somehow different.

Still, i am gonna be good good good.

i stayed up till 4am to catch the live coverage of GE 2011. Its pretty amazing.At least i know someone who probably teared more than i did last night. He's an unfortunate victim of Singapore's aspiration of a first world parliament. He had to make way for some political revolution we have been dreaming of for decades, some revolution that exists because we were finally bored of facebook and decided to direct our time to destroying our future. Hello. Change right? Change is on every one's lips and up in the air. I know that word too well. It always begins with ambitions, great talks and ends with a price.

I am not for any party or any one. I am pro-me. I only think of myself, me and I. And I could do that for years now because it happens that the party every one is detesting brought peace and prosperity to this place i am proud to call home. I had little worries about my family and future. I only had to think about myself because all else was taken after.

You could argue that 6 seats isnt alot to lose. If losing one foreign minister and our first woman minister would mean that our voices are heard, why not? Sure. Before they do so, in all honesty, i hope you hear yourselves well.

If you are for the opposition, I like to congratulate you on your victory last night. I hope that optimism stays with you till 2016.

God bless me.

a random day but a good one.

2011-05-01T10:57:00.000-07:00

i havent been blogging for good reasons. I figured that if im gonna be weak, i be better off cowering behind. i dont want worries or comfort to pour in unnecessarily. Im edging 25 and if there's something we, Singaporeans need to learn from the tsunami that has claimed thousands of lives- that would be to stay thankful and freaking stop complaining.

You know, politics is not something im really into even though it is something you hear everywhere in sg these days. May the best man win..thats all i would say for now.

I have been doing well these days. Maybe a change of perspective is really working for me now. I have been happy and plan to stay that way for the months to come.

We had a birthday celebration today. It was awesome. We behaved like a family. haha. I had fun.

Goodnight.

week's good good. life rocks rocks.

2011-02-27T07:30:00.000-08:00

the weekend's a string of firsts.

Its my first at the hookah and moroccan mint tea. the tea was more addictive than the shisha itself. the latter didnt score well with me because its basically smoking in another form. and i would prefer to die a workaholic than an intense smoker.

nevertheless, nice experience but no reason to go gaga over it.

oh yea.sat.it was also my first at teo heng. good rooms and good rates. i say straight victory over kbox, party world and whatever you name. enjoyed myself tremendously with them who are keeping me alive at work.

on sat, I also registered my first trip to beijing at the natas.. BEIJING! have never been there. I SWEAR i will spend one entire day at the great wall. CANNOT WAIT!!

thursday was my first visit to watami at raffles city with the girls. food's finger licking good.

overall, great week.

love my life now. goodnight.

Keeping.

2011-02-22T07:44:00.000-08:00

i've enjoyed myself tremendously tonight. The pizza was good and so was the company.

i know. im just not gonna forget about this, ever.

Love.

Fun and you.

2011-02-19T07:52:00.000-08:00

I had fun, lots of fun.. Today feels like a date where i would pretend to be perfect and buy dresses i never will.

I dont know. I feel happy, really happy. Its not the you take-my-breath kind but the i-wanna-see-you-again-and-again sort of happiness. That feeling sits with you for a while and doesnt go away until the see-you-again happens.

I dont know.

I miss you.

How far can you advance when floating is all that you have got

2011-02-17T05:27:00.000-08:00

have been going out every day. life's good and its been a long long while since i felt down.

and yes, credit that to my change in perspective. I am not taking any aspect of work seriously anymore. I have learnt to defend and defy.

We are often tasked to work independently and thus, we always laugh at ourselves for having to 'swim' amongst the many assigned workpapers. Then, someone told me lately that most of us do not swim, we simply float around.

The difference? The word 'Swimming' encompasses some fighting spirit in it and floating doesnt. She's absolutely right.

We float. Auditors float. We move with the tides and never bother seeking new heights. We dont know where we are heading most of the time and harbour the hope that we eventually weather the storm and the test of time to dock at some place decent. Decent? Then you ask, what constitutes decency and i say nobody cares and nobody thinks a step ahead of floating.

I started off as an avid swimmer, determined to be different. Then that passion withered and discontentment grew with time, knowing that you can fight one hiccup but you cant pit yourself against circumstances.

a friend told me that she's happy with audit because she knows she can do well in it. Its awesome to do good in what you do. Sure, it is. but how could anyone leave fulfillment outta the running for a career grand slam?

You can float and find yourself cruising through life or you could fight and end up with more bruises than victories but say you have lived life.

I dont care if its gonna take hell to find heaven.

I dont float .

Sunday delights

2011-02-13T08:30:00.000-08:00

Saturday

2011-02-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

i had foie gras, wagyu sirloin, smoked salmon for dinner.

the meal came up to hundreds.

my date : 'you cannot buy memories.'

.got me melting inside.

FRIDAY

2011-02-12T09:47:00.000-08:00

easy come easy go.

2011-02-10T08:46:00.000-08:00

heavy heart but got to move on.

goodnight.

xoxo

2011-02-09T07:23:00.000-08:00

first in my audit career that i told my boss i would like to go home early.
i tell you, its awesome. leaving at 6.30 is. meeting yh is even more.

i enjoyed myself, the conversations and the walk though i really think we should have taken a bus. nevertheless, love you. you are an inspiration too. must admit that i have been emotionally vulnerable these days because of some issues...but today, you have ended that drought and brought strength. ok.jesus wont be happy hearing that he's not alone in granting enlightenment. but yea, you certainly made my day. love you.

goodnight.

show me the light

2011-02-08T06:48:00.000-08:00

i dont know what i want anymore.

i dont know. ive lost my direction. i am not sure if i wanna give it a shot or take that easy route out.

i dont know.

im just confused. its playing real hard in my head now. how do i get it right when i dont know where to start.

maybe i already have an answer. maybe i do. i dont know.

smile cp smile.

because you matter

2011-02-06T07:52:00.000-08:00

even though i complain relentlessly, i love my life. i love it because there isnt a day that goes by without having something to be thankful for.

im a fortunate kid, always feeling enveloped by love. i get almost everything i need and want in life. as much as i like to attribute hard work as part of that equation, there is more to it than that in the receipe for life.

Today, I am terribly thankful for you.

i am sorry i have been so hurtful. I wish i have been a little more understanding and a lot less selfish. If guilt could be sold in the open market, it probably trades at a discount now in view of the excess supply.

I almost died from killing you.

I am sorry. I will never never never do it again.

Goodnight.

for another day.

2011-01-31T08:20:00.000-08:00

12.15am. i got off work at 7.30 only to come back and work again.

its not easy to quit because they make it difficult to.

i would never have thought that i care. i still dont most of the time. but for what's worth, they have become that one reason to not leave.

pressing on.

Goodnight.

goodnight.

whats the beauty of a sun rise if it takes this much to get there

2011-01-26T09:39:00.000-08:00

1.30am. after more than 15 hours for 8 consecutive work days, i am finally feeling alittle better.

cant sleep without having to blog about today. feeling uber inspired by taxi driver for the night.

i wasnt even complaining about the fatigue and he just hit me with buckets of advice.

quote of the day 'its not about the length of the nights... yes, we work long hours but the sun will aways rise..Its not about the list of failures but the success it brings that matters'

he uttered that in perfect pronunciation. got to give it to him and his really powderful english.

he went on with alot more but i was alittle too tired to catch them all.

taxi drivers are diverse bunch. got a really disturbing one yesterday who was practically raising his voice at me the entire journey. Today, got myself a fan of ghandi. amazing stuff.

. shall leave you with another quote of his.

'seek joy in what you do. if you dont, its never worth any effort'

Goodnight.

'

all of you rock my world

2011-01-25T08:36:00.000-08:00

im gonna tell you all that i love you.

love you all for your smses and love. i am still dying but pretty much kept alive by love.

I am seeing stars and feeling hot. but you all just make my day.

you all rock.

i cannot wait to see all of you.. ps two appointments over the weekend because i was dying of fatigue. but im gonna be well rested and start meeting you all when im done with this horrible client.

cannot wait to tell you all on the huge decision i made today. just wait for me to tell.

love.

aiming for perfection kills.

2011-01-22T23:47:00.000-08:00

i had a tough week, a really bad one. got off work at 1am every day only to come home feeling battered and bruised.

it gets worse when you take a stand and try to map things out.

it doesnt help that i am me, that i dig deep and ask for the best in everything i dive into. i think i may die from trying to live up to my own expectations.

i thought about quitting this entire week. i had to fight tears at the client's, correct stupid mistakes i commit, tell silly jokes to entertain and try not to fall into information traps my colleagues lay.

it gets tiring and so i was asked, 'wanna quit?'. friend got a firm 'no' from me. sure, its the easy way out but i dont quit on hiccups. you dont get to quit on what you have been building on for years. this isnt jenga where you could fall and start new. its about pushing for what you believe.

im fighting and will always do. i will leave when what im made for comes my way.... its exit when the door to equities trading opens.

on a lighter note, i tried on golf. pretty boring game but i like thats its a game of accuracy.

hello audit.

2011-01-11T07:57:00.000-08:00

i work from 8.30am- 10pm every day for the past few days now. I havent made a scene about it.so i thought if you try to hide it long enough, it would go away.

the cabbies that have been driving me home these days make the best part of the day. the driver today was telling me how he is still keeping his marriage for the kids' sake. driver yesterday was telling me how he made a huge loss with his stocks during the last financial crisis and had to shut his businesses at vietnam to cover the numbers.

every single day, i hear stories about people's lives and i love it. i love it because im so sick of mine. when its my turn to tell, i would always start with a 'i am an auditor' and end with almost the same way i begin.

its not that i hate my job. i just regret that it deprives me of a story to tell. its just sad that at the end of the day when we are asked to tell our life story, its no better than what we tell our potential employers, what we put on the resumes, and what we call work experience.

i dont wanna be working so hard. but i have to. i wish i could tell you that im happy and the year started well. but today, i really am just depressed and i dont wanna hide it. i have been pretending to like work all day long. so let me whine about it now.

im tired and im depressed. welcome to audit cp. welcome to the end.

goodnight.

a year in one glance.

2010-12-31T23:37:00.000-08:00

i thought about 2010 while waveboarding for an hr moments ago.

here's a look on 2010.

proud of:

-graduating with a 2nd upper

-giving my best in everything i do

-becoming a better person

regret:

- getting drunk and saying too much.

- not saving at least 5000. ( foot rating: max)

-putting on so much weight

-not meeting some friends (no time la, foot)

-not making money in shares despite the bull run

-making a moutain outta a molehill

glad that i:

-went to japan (love!)

-made some new friends.

-bought a dslr and moved closer to becoming a good photographer

-renewed passion for music and sports

-made a decision to be happier

-became more adventurous and decisive.

-was a bridesmaid for lj

2011 resolutions (or i call them forseeable regrets for 2012)

-spend time with myself

-be as happy as i already am

-lose 6kg (for clothes sake)

-be a better floorballer and tennis player

-watch wimbeldon or us open live

goodnight.

picking up.

2010-12-28T06:17:00.000-08:00

you know how you take an exam, think you have nailed it and end up realizing you never did.

its disappointing but you will get over it.

i want to meet you all.

2010-12-27T07:01:00.000-08:00

friendsssssss are asking for dinner. i want to dine with everyone but i've got no time. this week's crazily packed tooo...i havent been home directly after work for freaking long time

fooot..please give me time. please give me time.

so the bestie says 'prioritize'. you dont prioritize friendship. im greedy. i want to meet everyone who asked.

holiday-ing is a big problem too. i am making my travel plans for next year alr...

it seems like for now, its hongkong for june, bangkok for july, bangkok for august, hongkong for september..

INSANE.

foot i want time.i want MORE TIME.

love life.

2010-12-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

hectic week but a really good one. just a quick update.

Mon was time well spent with the sz girls.freaking lost all photos from iphone because i f-ing had to restore it. foot my iphone. but i enjoyed myself . love.

tuesday was dinner with boss ling..photos were gone as well.foot. the korean food we had was good. that coupled with boss ling makes a perfect day.. love.

wednesday was when i started realizing iphone sucks and i brought a camera. we had pizza at robertson quay. ambience was good and we had fun going crazy. love

thursday was ramen day with janet, qy and cheryl. food was blah blah blah. but day is never too bad when you end it with ben and jerry's. love

yes, cheryl i love it. please use my crabtree's.

friday was good. we did potluck at estella's place!! its always fun when we do a gift exchange. we would always try to pick out the worst gift and pray we never get it. this year, my prayers went unheard...got a really horrible one.hahahahahha. but it was fun, lotsa fun.

Saturday was spent with the family. its an unspoken family custom that we spent christmas together every year. love it.

as for sunday - its batam!

headphones we got for our dad. random-ish but love this pic. goodnightttt

when happily ever after happens

2010-12-20T08:27:00.001-08:00

i was a bridesmaid on sunday. my first and i say its awesome.

goodnight.

2010-12-17T07:53:00.000-08:00

i finally know how the friends feel when i told them i wont get drunk and i did.

FOOT.

2010-12-15T08:52:00.000-08:00

1 am. colleagues and i hanged out at chijmes today. there was free flow of drinks and i am not drunk (how rare).

2 friends got really high but they became fine.

i came to realize that i could be in control and decide if i would like to get drunk.

just couldnt do it today.

goodnight.

life is not supposed to suck.

2010-12-13T07:08:00.000-08:00

i've been busy meeting friends, having fun and living life.

today, i was told by a colleague whom i really looked up to that in audit, we seek breadth and not depth. we never stop learning but its simply never enough to breach the limits of our potential. she ended the conversation with a 'you never know' .

and i said i cannot agree more.

i hate how we are always fighting with the brain on what move to make, what step to take. Its a stupid battle that always ends up with the heart broken, conscience compromised and ego hurt. Its stupid to think we can outplay ourselves and outlast others.

i have so much admiration for her because by quitting, she makes me feel cowardly. She sets me thinking on the endless possibilities that one could embark on given courage, courage and more courage to pursue what the heart's beating for.

Im not gonna fight the brain anymore. Mine sucks anyway. Go with the heart even if that means swimming against a tsunami or overcoming a troop with cultery and napkins. If your gonna die anyhow.. put on a great fight.

I have been a foolish worshipper of that brain of mine. it sucks to do what is right and what is good.

I want to take a risk and have a shot with life. I want to die knowing i have tried.

We kept saying life sucks. Why did we let it happen?

Goodnight.

Dont waste it.

2010-12-05T07:05:00.000-08:00

i saw a friend realizing her dreams at mediacorp moments ago. a year ago, when she told us she wanted to join the star search, i honestly thought it was a joke. seeing her take the stage today was amazing..

you know how we always talk about who we like to become but never once take a step closer.

lets not waste life

goodnight.

Day 11:

2010-12-02T07:39:00.000-08:00

i have dinner with them at least twice a week. i have no idea why it doesnt get mundane.

I am super low on EQ these days. its fatigue working its way through again. Goodnight.

Foot life

2010-11-30T10:36:00.000-08:00

Day 10: As it happened

2010-11-29T08:01:00.000-08:00

today was interesting. met up with someone from the past, some friend i would never ever dream of meeting again in life.

it was one hell of a conversation and i like it. I like how he has changed for the better and still remains very unique.

wth talks about biocentrism over dinner? Go wiki 'biocentrism'. amazing stuff.

Goodnight.

Day 9: Hope so sure

2010-11-28T06:03:00.000-08:00

today was truckloads of fun. I met up with boss ling for some shopping. but we ended up chatting and eating. . Today we get to know each other so much more. you know we always do mahjong together but never really into the girls stuff.

So it was fun. love it and enjoyed myself tremendously. This weekend is a blast. the 2 bffs rock my world. And i did alot of workouts too. hit the gym and the tracks.

I am happy and i hope you are.

Goodnight.

my god reigns

2010-11-27T08:08:00.000-08:00

TODAY was the best day of the week. I attended church and service was really really good. Love the songs and the message.

It was all about seeking breakthough, faith and patience, all of which im lacking in life. Im really really really really really happy today. I havent had this feeling for a good long time.

im gonna start attending church, breaking strongholds and seeking the 7th day..

On another note, today was made awesome by bff. We went shopping and did our hair together.

i bought 2 more pairs of shoes and that makes it 3 in total for the week. Please rain money on me. haha

excited about life now. thank you T. Like Him, you give me strength. love you bff.

goodnight people.

Day 7: Change of perspective.

2010-11-25T08:29:00.000-08:00

i get alot of crap at work and i find myself caring no more than what a janitor would over missing toilet rolls.

I always say that my work resembles a janitor's. We clean up other people's mess and pray that the mess gets cleaned up some day.

Seriously, this job smells. It is puke inducing and it can be fatal. But ive stopped wanting to quit because amidst the daily crap you land yourself in, you get to complain relentlessly to friends who know.

Lunch's the vacation we auditors reward ourselves for the crap we get. Over that fateful hour, we tell each other how this workpaper is screwing us and how we are going to turn it around and cheat the reviewers.

Maybe we are not janitors. We are cheaters. We dont do cleaning anymore. We do hiding. We do lying. We do what it takes to keep the mess out of the glaring eyes.

I hardly care now. Janitor or cheater? I dont care. I really dont.

Its just so much easier when you stop trying and you cant care more.

Today, I am not dying and I wanna be happy.

Goodnight.

Day 6: Rocking.

2010-11-24T09:36:00.000-08:00

you rock my life. you do.

day 5: they make love seem so easy.

2010-11-23T07:44:00.000-08:00

I went for a fitting today in preparation for LJ's big day. The gowns are really really pretty.Tried on 4-5 and selected my final piece on impulse because i was simply too worn out from having to compress my beer belly every single time i try. Anyway, had to sneak in my iphone to snap the photos by myself. so you probably see my face more than the gown. make do la.

here's my final decision. I have decided to go really simple. I dont like overly lacy designs that steal the attention from my hot face. haha. ok.im joking. i picked this one because it has really very very fine embroidery. love the details. nothing loud and attention seeking. its not my day afterall you know.

i know you cant tell the embroidery from here. just wait for 19-dec to be here and i shall show you its worth.

ohhhh...did i say im gonna be bridesmaid again in march? haha.

its not easy finding the one you wanna marry but they make it look otherwise, dont they?

Goodnight people.

Day 3: at peace.

2010-11-21T04:33:00.001-08:00

I have rarely stayed at home on weekends. you knw, i usually meet friends, date and do dinners with family and cousins.

This weekend was simply about me. it was awesome i tell you. i manage to get some good rest, hit the gym, and talk on the phone.

well .. went out for abit on saturday with sm to go shopping but we did nothing more than a simple dinner, some strolling about and fooling around.

point is i like my life. I like that im finally spending time with myself. I go out with everyone but myself. I wanna date me. I wanna just stay in, catch a good movie over my 38 inch plasma and not having to talk. i wanna watch barclays atp world tour finals over tv and root for roger.

i wanna date myself. trust im enjoying my life and dont worry about me.

life is good

goodnight

2010-11-20T08:18:00.000-08:00

i feel stupid. really stupid.

i am sorry for being a disappointment.

Day 2: DISAPPOINTMENT

2010-11-19T23:12:00.000-08:00

i suck. i hate myself so much now. im such a let down. I know.i hate myself. I dont know how it happened but no excuses, i just suck. I shldnt have gone. I shouldnt. I hate how im such a HUGE disappointment. shame on me really.

i wanted to not fail the people i love. i wanted to prove that i have more self-discipline that what the past two experiences have shown otherwise. but i fucking fail. i fail.

i suck. CP YOU SUCK. go get a life and stop ruining others. CP YOU SUCK AND STOP BEING A LOAD TO OTHERS. YOU SUCK, LOSER.

Day 1: New Day.

2010-11-18T16:52:00.000-08:00

8.50am. I just got to client's. I forgot if i have slept. I forget alot of things. But im good. I hate running on treadmill but it gets easier with time.. You just have to believe it gets better

I would never forget 18-Nov like how i would nver remember 4-mar. I forget alot. Be good, work hard and believe it gets better when you forget.

Good day to you.

manicure sucks but today I rock.

2010-11-17T08:26:00.000-08:00

i did manicure for the first freaking time. i wish it just stopped at costing 100 bucks and an hour.

it cost alot more. attempted to tear a parking coupon only to give up and bite it off. oh.and my clothes, dearest sister took them out for me. Its so f-inconvenient that i wanna chop them off now if i dont look silly.

ok.i did the manicure because we had a wedding meeting this afternoon with steph and her friends and they were laughing at how they know some girl who hasnt done manicure before. you know, i'm like that some girl they were talking about and so i decided time for a change and i looked even stupider than before.

nvm about that. my first manicure experience is a blast okay. i think i totally rocked because i was such a typical gemini today. I actually poured my heart out to stranger A who was a customer like me and stranger B who was my manicurist from China.

We started a similar htht session except that i dont even know the names of people whom im pouring my heart to and i am not drunk. seriously, just stab me.

but anyway, i have been happy these days. ive decided and sayingg this for a 1000th time, the right decision at this point is to make a decision. Ive made one.

If you are reading this blog because i told you about it personally, you probably mean a world to me. So support me. you dont have to know what ive decided, just be with me.

Love my life and love you.

Goodnight.

happiness

2010-11-16T11:39:00.001-08:00

3.40 am. for once in a htht and in weeks, i didnt feel a tinge of sadness. Topic of the day was to mention a single happy event in life.

L came up with how table tennis has helped her grow as a person and allowed her to travel around the globe.

S brought us back to the good old days where love was hardly spoken but always cherished. She told us about her kindergarden crush which was really sweet.

I envy L for the opportunity to develop her talent and S for her childhood sweetheart. But i've got my share of happiness.

I mentioned that the happiest event in recent year was going to suzhou and meeting with a bunch of wonderful girls.

i was really glowing with happiness when it was my turn to tell. Life sucks recently but there are always things that keep you moving.

I am happy today. But fcuk, i need to get up really early for brunchhhhhhhh. ok. goodnight.

i miss you.

2010-11-14T08:25:00.000-08:00

I started a livejournal for you. Began enaging in facebook, learnt how to tag photos and do the entire comment thing. told you my darkest secrets, crazy stuff i would never possibly tell when i am sober.

i came back from suzhou and miss all of you every day. I would stare at the photos and laugh to myself while having steamboat and sitting in an air-conditioned room.

I miss you all. Its not that often i pick up a new skill or miss someone that badly. Its just you and all of you.

You can cry and complain. I swear i be here to listen. Just fight it, kill it. Just live because i need you to.

i love you, E.

Goodnight.

On another note, today's been awesome. love.

2010-11-13T05:59:00.000-08:00

maybe i sound overly emotional in my previous entry. but i am good now.Trust me, im good.dont ever worry. nothing kills me.

i will blog more regularly and my next entry is gonna be how happy i am to meet the girls tomorrow okay.

im good, really.

goodnight.

Life.live it like a lie.

2010-11-13T00:44:00.001-08:00

my stomach hurts. maybe not as much as my heart did. but it hurts. it feels like its being ripped apart and i really wish i just died so i wouldnt have to live with the pain, the aftermath and with myself.

we screw up at times and we drink to forget. It typically works except that we always forget it is an on-going process, a vicious cycle and a painful healing procedure.

I am a poor drinker and i suck at lying equally. I deem that my greatest merits but now, it is turning its back on me and slowly consuming my life.

I got drunk in our room at sands. called the emergency hotline to tell them im in pain. got up to pee but ended crying my heart out. See what wonders being a bad drinker and a bad liar can do.

Its the second hangover in a month, the second time i cried in weeks. Good news is, I am going to make a conscious effort to stop drinking and to stop trying. But the lying goes on. The lies that my life is made for and well entrenched in. That goes on. we can lie to ourselves about a better tomorrow, and a possibility of fewer screw-ups. We can lie to life. Just make it good, go undiscovered and hide it well.

When you are a poor drinker, just hope that you are a better liar.

Moving on

2010-11-09T07:32:00.000-08:00

Life's good. I feel much happier now. the baby steps, its working.

Losing to win.

2010-10-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

Today was the best night one could ever have as a DT auditor. There was the tough fight, good beer, great sushi and most of all, them.

LCL came from home to give the hug i badly needed. SM kept me distracted this fucking day. JR provided the entertainment. point is, they went that fucking extra mile to keep me alive. I felt terrible and they were there.

I hate losing and i will never get used to it. But tonight, i was glad i screwed up. If screwing up is all that it takes to know that they care so much, then i would fucking screw up all my life.

i love them and i love my life.

Goodnight.

Priorities.

2010-10-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

these days, we were all stressed out at work.

we are approaching the peak really soon. it begins in december and ends in april.

during this period of time, we are not allowed to go on leave and its mandatory that we lock in a minimum of 50 hours per week.

We cannot date or have a social life. We cannot whine or moan. We dedicate weekdays to work and weekends to more work. We are disliked by our clients every other day because our procedures are performed at the very expense of their time. We are never in lack of complaints and so we model ourselves after an ostrich when being threatened. We run or we hide but we rarely fight.

Regrets? None.

If you are born poor, its not your fault. But if you die poor, its definitely your fault. -Bill gates

i dont wanna be ordinary.

I miss them.I miss them.

2010-10-13T08:31:00.000-07:00

I miss perth and I miss it every day.

At Frementle and ginger beer rocks my life.brought a dozen of them home. please get me ginger beer for christmas.

And i miss ah po. she's like the grandmother god forgot to give.i miss her and her laughter. I miss her.

I miss them. It was ah po's 90th birthday and i knew i had to be there. They said it was stupid to pay this much to be there for such a short stay. but i swear that was the best 3 nights of the year.

i miss them. i miss them. i miss them.

coming through

2010-09-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

ive so busy that i almost forgot i got a blog.

mon-8.30pm

tues-10pm

wed-9.30pm

thurs-2.30am

friday.1 am.

yeah.got home at the above timings this week. Work is driving me crazy. the last i need to do is to talk about it again. so lets go on about the marina barage picnic i had. thats a must-blog event. haha.it was lotsa fun. sun almost killed us but absolutely a day to die for.

i swear thats the highest the kite went in their hands. haha.

following pictures are just super hilarious.

we spent more time dodging the sun than flying the kite. scorching hot day but it was just so nice that we outlasted the heat in sing and the cold in suzhou to be where we are now. amazing journey.couldnt have done it if love's absent, isnt it. love.

Goodnight.

costly craziness. ha.

2010-09-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

ive been blogging quite alot about this crazy hello kitty fan. it makes me happy to blog about her and her craziness. haha.

ive been very very busy lately. so i havent been replying to messages and phone calls.but im good, really.

today's just awesome saturday spent with yh. walked around for say 4hours along orchard road with minimum breaks. bought alot of crazy stuff and spent some 300+ bucks. not in MYR this time. ha. but its fun. you need to get out more, song! haha.

im tired. got to hit the bed if i wanna make it for picnic on time tomorrow. so goodnight. love you, song!

fuck you and fuck life.

2010-09-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

ive given up everything ive ever wanted because of you.

hell then, love.

2010-08-29T09:51:00.000-07:00

we went over to johor today for some thai massage. almost couldnt make it back here after a very painful 2 hours session. dearest yh, you now know that im probably your best-est friend here. im sure st wouldnt risk her life for you. haha. yh is a crazy hello kitty fan. pink- yucks! ha. alot of drama over selecting these items but at least i know now, my opinion doesnt matter at all. ha

even though you made me spend 200 bucks, go through hell massage, deny me a mary brown dinner, i still love you. i think im equally insane to say this but i actually enjoyed myself so muchhhhh. i cannot believe it man how i cant stop smiling when i think about today. so yea, we will do this again next month!

oh yea, we caught the movie, vampires suck. and boy, it sucks big time. i would give it a full suck rating. i thought twilight is horrible and i got to say vampires suck just raised the bar. yh wouldnt even stay through the movie. she left and missed the ending. well, i was glad that i stayed and caught the ending. at least im certain and you can trust me when i say it really suck.

ha. still, i had a wonderful, wonderful time.

goodnight.

life's awesome

2010-08-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

today, boss turns 26.

both of us are gonna be heading for perth in october! my 2nd and i cant wait. i wanna have breakfast at king's park, lunch at fremantle fish market and dinner at maggie's.i cant wait.

fly september fly.

Need a break. needing it now.

2010-08-19T09:36:00.000-07:00

ive been running and i like to start walking.

progression

2010-08-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

Im happy today.

i attended my company's floorball training session. Made some new friends and hit some balls. It was extremely tiring but fulfilling.

i feel like im finally progressing in life. its weird but im strangely happy today.

A green start.

2010-08-15T09:09:00.000-07:00

very very very hectic weekend.

Goodnight.

2010-08-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

I forgot how its like to be free.

Shelter or hide?

2010-08-03T07:49:00.000-07:00

I walked into that cd shop few days ago only to hear corrinne may's 'shelter' rolling in the background. It caught our attention and i love it.

Its not the usual sort of music i would listen to but i downloaded it anyhow.

it reminded me of how much i hate mandarin pop. i hated how each time i listen to them and the memories i would pay to forget keep flowing.

Ive grown out of them. but there are just so much you can achieve when you constantly remind yourself to forget.

Im not making sense, am i.

Goodnight.

Dear Memory, please keep this.

2010-07-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

Today was the best day of the year. I wouldnt forget this day where i looked around and saw so much love around me. So here you go:

Jk made me 366 blue roses. If you dont already know, blue roses are my favorite. but to receive 366 on a day, thats just overwhelming. the roses are so so so so so so so so so beautiful. I love them but i love you more.

(for photos with all my friends, you just got to catch them on my facebook. because i be forced to post them on facebook anyway!)

today's just awesome awesome! I know mum's so proud of me and that makes me really happy. im so thankful. God please make this happiness in me stay.

im really happy, tsay.

i will remember because i wont forget.

2010-07-24T10:41:00.000-07:00

i kept thinking of how blessed ive been and i smiled to myself.

then i think of you. and the grinning wont stop.

you told me that i never have to walk alone. You be my guardian, angel, friend and lover.

i dont wanna assume so many identities. im just me and right now i just wanna be yours.

when monday's here, when my career begins, when i come home late and when i dont spend more time with you, i just want you to know im still the me you fell in love with two years ago and you are still the pound i love.

you know how many always tell me that they could see you love me very much. i know you do. but i guess only a handful could tell: i love you more.

Goodnight.

we say goodbye

2010-07-23T10:44:00.000-07:00

next week's my convocation. But today we went back to school to take some pictures before I begin my audit career next monday..

Let life come to me.

Goodnight.

I

2010-07-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

Net and i caught a movie today. Cannot remember the title because its in japanese.

I would have enjoyed the movie alot alot more if i didnt have such a bad cough.

God, please make me good again.

Goodnight.

Please go away.

2010-07-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

Ive been terribly terribly sick the past few days. Ive got everything you need to avoid school and work.

Goodnight for now.

Missing Japan lorryloads

2010-07-06T09:39:00.000-07:00

I miss Hokkaido so much. Enjoyed the trip tremendously. Im gonna give you my top 3 favorite moments in a bit

We took so many photos that i doubt i can ever finish viewing them. Yes, disney sea photos will be up too. just keep waiting.

Home

2010-06-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

feels terribly good to be back home.

trip was great.

i will give you more when my legs get its well deserved rest.

goodnight.

I dont wanna be a gambler.

2010-06-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

Everyday's been a breeze since i killed education. Today was different. Today, i begin to worry. I begin to fret over my future and fear what tomorrow brings.

You know how back in school, our greatest worry is no more than what to have for lunch, how to flee from tutorials, and which movie should we catch.

Today, i worry alot more. I worry about regrets, I worry about progression, I worry about satisfaction.

I was told that i worry too much. So i say, i worry now so that i can avoid worrying later.

Its easy making a decision but hard to live with a wrong one. wtf, i think just uttered some crap ghandi would be so proud of. ok yes, I am trying really hard here to avoid a bad fate.

Moments ago, i caught a glimpse of van's blog. and van, i face the same crap you are going through now.

Ive got 2 jobs i may consider. It really sucks to choose because you got 50/50 chance of screwing up your future.

I am a risk taker but i dont gamble with my future.

I can take a horrible lunch, be caught for fleeing from tutorials, and catch a really crappy movie. But i get a second shot at not screwing up the very next day. I am given chances in school. I am allowed to err.

I am a student

The stakes just got higher when your not one.

But I am not a gambler.

I hope i dont run outta happiness 2.

2010-06-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

This week's a blast. I promise to dive into details when time permits. Crazy week.

For now, just gonna leave you with this cake T made for me. A superb attempt.

Really overwhelmed with love. Thank you.

Goodnight.

I hope i dont run outta happiness.

2010-06-10T09:35:00.000-07:00

I should probably hit the bed now because fatigue's at its finest act again.

But i have to pen this down before i go. Life's great great. Yeah.one great's not gonna do it any justice. The week hasnt ended but its simply crazy man. In the really really good way.

I was showered with so much love. like to remember this as a 'reality's better than dreams' week. so Thank you for being part of it.

my colleagues did something crazily crazily sweet for me. today's Dinner with cheryl, janet and qy today was awesome. yesterday's crepes with seok's perfect. EVerything's just great great for me. I didnt win the 3m lottery today but it feels like i did.

God's good.

Love life.

2010-06-08T07:08:00.000-07:00

Im exhausted.

I had my week packed with so many dinner appointments that i seriously doubt my ability to make it till end of week.

Today was dinner with ah lian. She doesnt allow me to order side dishes until i finish the main and i got a drink for dessert. Oh and 'siao' is the most frequently used word of the day. Very strong headed ah lian but Ive enjoyed every second of the night.

Ah lian was pure entertainment and i actually enjoyed sharing stuff with her. I must be crazy to say this but today was by far my favorite dinner of the month. It was simple and ambience wasnt too bad. love how ah lian can be annoyingly honest and cute at the same time.

I have enjoyed every single meeting thus far. love you all and love life now.

Goodnight

10 things i wanna do before i begin life

2010-06-02T08:21:00.000-07:00

i wanted to do this up a long long time ago. time's just keeping me away from this. so here goes

10 things i wanna do for myself before the start of my career.

1) Get a good haircut and some colours
2) Lose 5 kg
3) Buy a blue chip
4) Play 48 rounds of mahjong (boss ANG, read this)
5) Take a really good sunset/sunrise photo
6) Fix a puzzle
7) Have breakfast at dempsey with the sister
8) Get drunk and puke till im really sick
9) Play sims and warcraft for 12 consecutive hours
10) Finish reading super freakonomics

Lets see if i will get any done by july 23.

We fear shame but are not afraid to be thieves. How cool?

2010-05-31T08:45:00.000-07:00

look, i told my greatest fan, jk that i would blog about how life's perfect these days. with the semester results exceeding expectations, a winning mahjong streak and surprise graduation gifts, there's really little to complain.

mahjong god is rarely this kind to me. I won with the following tiles and that totally made my weekend And my colleague was awesome awesome.she bought me a cake during lunch and told me that we had to celebrate a new start to life. Gosh,the cake and the thoughts that go behind it - that was a really special moment for me.cake was sweetness x 10. And this ff bear is like icing on the cake. maggie got it for me and i love it to the depths of the sea.

life's really perfect you know. i feel so loved that i cant stop bragging to jk about it. Five's of course part of the love.

so you have heard the story, well, at least half of it.

The other highlight of the month has to be today. Getting off work at 830, and spending an hr in a police station marks the perfect start of my journey down to the trough.

wallet was stolen. trust was lost. time was wasted. GREAT is all i think of.

i want to tell you that my life's perfect. Today un-perfected that but i will be good tmr.i know who did it and i also know im not gonna be getting it back. lets watch the drama unfold. just wish that it wasnt at my expense.

So im good, just broke. i will leave you with the conversation of the day

policeman: ok, take a look at this statement and tell me if there's anything wrong

me: ermm. hmm.

policeman: its okay.just tell me whats wrong.

me(points to a word( cant remember what)) and says: i think this should be in past tense.

And policeman went on to reveal that he's only a ns man and so not a full-time police officer.

me: So there's a shortage of police man, isnt there?

policeman: yea. its also reported in the news that there is

jk: singapore is short of everything

me: well, at least there's no lack of thieves

Thieves. That reminds me of a top sg news today. I was told that our tt team did us proud by defeating china. See why i always think singapore is better. We can make what is not ours seem otherwise. We are huge on importing. just wish that we could do an equally good job in exporting what we are rich in - s.h.a.m.e

Goodnight people.

That view.

2010-05-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

i got it. i did.

I caught the view from the mountain top. I looked back and saw how far ive come. It was tough but that view, that made everything count.

It was an early birthday surprise, a load off the shoulder and a very special moment.

That view, that was everything i yearn for.

Today, i own it.

i got it. i did.

Please dont shut me out.

2010-05-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

life's been hectic, as it always is. time's probably something i would like to purchase.

like to think that im cool about everything thats heading my way. Like to think that when the storm strikes, it hits everything but me.

I have been nervous these days. I cannot get my mind off it as much as i like to you know. it just sits with me and kills me slowly.

I really dont care if there's another mountain i can climb, i just dont wanna be up there only to realize that there's no view from the top.

i just need this missing piece to complete my life. God, i need that and i need you.

greys' what tv is made for.

2010-05-22T23:57:00.000-07:00

I caught the finale of vampire diaries, gossip girls and greys this afternoon. (Thank God for weekends). I have to say, greys has always been the love of my life and the finale shows you why.

Yes, vampire diaries and gossip girls keep you asking for more but it is greys that gets you at the edge of your seat and makes you wanna hold your bladder for 2 consecutive hours.

Im a huge greys fan and i cannot wait for season 7 to start.

When hope calls for a fight

2010-05-20T06:30:00.001-07:00

I hate to say this, but give thaksin and the red shirts a break.

Bangkok is burning and the death toll is rising.

They call the redshirts thaksin's supporters and they blame thaksin for the mess bangkok is in now. That got me agitated.

Do you really think that any citizen in the right mind would do this to their country for a man? They were fighting for their rights, a better future, and the government needs to see who's causing the hurt. Im saddened by the violence and the loss but a slum life is no life.

Why cant Thaksin be shopping for a LV bag in Paris while all these chaos are happening? Will it make you feel any better if i say he's squatting by some roadside stall buying fake burberry?

In Accounting, I was taught not to consider sunk costs in deciding on a purchase. Similarly, it does not matter what Thaksin is doing now because the fight's never about him. If Thaksin has done wrong, it be for the fact that he once alleviated rural poverty and led the poor in believing that hope will never cease to exist.

I know it's ironic but i dont see any wrong in fighting for peace. As every min ticks by, we are one closer to death. If we have to die anyhow, why not for a cause that will seek to improve the lives of the ones left behind. I'm certainly not for the idea of suicide bombers but for the ones who are constantly working to improve the world.

Im not heartless but hope is something worthy of the fight.

Blessed i am.

2010-05-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

i had a smashing time today. Im probably half awake as im typing away now but i have enjoyed myself so much that it would seem a waste to go away tonight not noting this down.

Food wasnt fantastic but the jokes and the catching up made up for that. I was worried that today's meeting would end up pretty awkward having not met up for so long and that work's taking a toll on me. But im so glad, so freaking glad that nothing has changed much. The one single thing that bonded us in the past continues to hold us together - Fun.

We had a great time laughing at one another. Whether its for the fact that we do not have a proper house (private joke) , me gaining weight or charlene's moonlight phobia/curfew, it was a perfect night complete with shrills and laughter.

There were times that char and van got so loud that i thought sh and i could use a hearing aid soon. But beyond that 5-seconds embarrassment along citylink, it was all pleasure.

Couldnt have thought of a better way to start the weekend.

i love you all. And yes, if i need a hearing aid, then so be it. For friendship, for fun.

Goodnight. have to hit the bed now.

Blessed I am.

2010-05-08T09:26:00.000-07:00

Today was time well spent with jk. We decided that shopping at sg was mundane and that johor could use our help in making a swift economic recovery.

The new immigration centre at johor was a blazing success. I love how we could finally arrive at city mall with little sweat. no pun intended there.

Our lunch was f-good. Usually, Chinese food has to do alot to impress me but this stewed chicken over rice at mr baoz won me over easily with its distinctively briny flavor. I was telling jk that they must have put nicotine in it because its ridiculously addictive. I shall strive to make big bucks and be a franchisee of this. Go check it out people.

Yes, chinese food just got notched up a level.

The fabulousness didnt come to an end when i licked up the last grain. The movie we caught was on par. It was my first catching a movie in cantonese and im so proud of myself because i understood every single word.

Yes, the action scenes were good and alright, tears welled up in my eyes. I give it to donnie yen and i shamelessly take back my word about disliking him and etc. He's good with both the acting and the fighting. It did rake up alot of emotions in me when he won the battle over twister. Yes, go catch it. But where iron man is concerned, i still stand firm.

Jk preferred iron man over ip man. But dont trust him people, engineers just have a thing for transformations and mechanics. They know little about emotions and storylines.Whats a movie without a geniune climax?

Anyway, here's the enginner of my life with his new purchases.

I love you but ip man is still better.